Even in Darkness

“You are my lamp, O Lord;
The Lord illumines my darkness.”
2 Samuel 22:29 NASB

The beautiful verse above comes from the song of praise King David spoke to God. God had saved David from the murderous grasp of King Saul.

David rejoiced because the Lord, our Lord, is superior to all. Even when waves of death are surrounding us, He is able to draw us out of many waters.

In this chapter, David states that God “rides on the wings of the wind.” Even in darkness and we cannot see our way out, God makes a path for us.

We can’t see where the path is leading but we do know the One who is our lamp and illumines our darkness.

The Lord gives beauty even in darkness. He keeps our feet from slipping and brings us to a broad place.

Because of Jesus.

Approval

I was the consummate middle child of three. I longed for attention. Both my
parents worked very hard. My father worked two jobs. He put in many hours
as an electrician in a factory, and then he came home to work on customer’s
vehicles in his garage. But this caused him to be fairly absent as far as a
relationship with us kids. He loved us and wanted the best for us. However, I
had unrealistic expectations from an absent father. Because of this, I was
constantly seeking his approval.

As I began my teenage years, I was shy, yet still seeking attention and
approval. Trying to get the attention from friends led me to do things that no
one else did. I found myself trying to stick out from what was “normal”.
Everyone else wore normal clothes, I wore leather pants and a cut off shirt.
Everyone else had nicely cut hair; I grew my hair out very long. Everyone I
knew seemed to be wanting to be successful in other people’s eyes. I
rebelled against that too. 

I rebelled against the appearance of success which typically led to doing
things that sabotaged my own personal development such as skipping school
and not doing day to day routines. I was even lost when I considered how I
related to life itself. Not knowing how to navigate through life made me find
ways to escape and avoid responsibility. Getting stoned and drunk seemed
to help free me from the need for approval and help me “fit in”. I actually
developed an alternative reality. This led to years of substance abuse, failed
relationships, and flat out bad decisions.

It wouldn’t be until age 30 that a good friend told me about having a
relationship with Jesus Christ. One that wasn’t part of an institutional
religion that I was rebellious toward, but an actual relationship with a living
God. When I devoted my life to Jesus Christ, I experienced the intimate
relationship with a Heavenly Father that I was always searching for.
I now had a relationship with a God who loved me and gave me his full
approval. I lost much of my desire to rebel and because I was now approved
by God himself. Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the approval of
man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please
man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
I lived for 30 years before my life began being transformed. In Jesus Christ,

I am now approved. I am not perfect, but still continue to grow and be
strengthened. One of the major results in my life since committing my life to
Jesus is that I am now sober. As I have continued to grow closer to God, he
has blessed me beyond what I deserve. Not only do I have a renewed peace
and confidence but God also has enriched my relationships with others
including an amazing woman, my wife Mary, whom I get to share my life
with.

Jason Rich

God’s Protection

My family, including my older and younger sister, attended church
weekly. Even when we were out of town we would find someplace to go to
church. My dad’s father was a severe individual who didn’t seem to have
genuine faith, although he attended church at times. I remember my Dad
always wanting to be more loving than his Dad. But my great uncle was a
passionate follower of Jesus. His life greatly affected my dad and caused
our family to live committed to Christ and our church. My mom’s life of faith
also affected me. I remember her going into their room after breakfast and
spending time in prayer. 

My life has been full of miracles. I believe God has saved me multiple
times from injury and death. When I was in kindergarten at a park, I fell 12
feet off a slide hitting my head first. Thanks to God, I only fractured my right
arm (reason why I’m left handed). Another time, I fell off an extension
ladder. I fell backwards hitting my head and experienced no injuries. 

I gave my life to Jesus in 5th grade. I remember being in Sunday
school. Another kid prayed aloud for the Minnesota Vikings to win. I
remember praying quietly in my heart in agreement, but then adding in my
prayer, “If the Vikings win today I will give my life to Christ next Sunday.”
They won and the next Sunday, again in Sunday School, I committed my
life to Christ. I didn’t tell anyone at the time, but my commitment was real.

When I was 15, my dad and I were in a summer fishing tournament.
We were out for 7 hours in 93 degree heat. As we were attempting to load
our boat after the tournament, we were struggling. Then, I started to get
very tired and fainted from heat stroke. Like a movie, my life flashed before
my eyes. I saw a bright light and it seemed I was standing before the gates
of heaven begging God to bring me back to life. In that moment, I knew I
wanted to serve God and him only. There was a new desire birthed in me
to make disciples. Then a very strong sense of power came over me.
Something told me to get up and I did. I then walked to the car, turned up
the AC and slowly drank water. I believe the Lord Jesus Christ is the only
reason that I am alive today.

I continued attending church and serving regularly. But in my early
20s, I struggled to find community and struggled with depression. But it
wasn’t until attending a Men’s Retreat and finding a new church family, that
my depression fled away. I found freedom in worship and community. I am
thankful for God for all he has brought me through and excited to serve
Jesus with my life.

Jesus Was My Rock and Strength

I was 12 years old and scared to death of going to Hell! I attended Lamson Free Church regularly with my parents who were dedicated Christians. The church had just finished a series of evangelistic meetings which I’d describe as hell, fire, and brimstone and I was afraid I was headed to Hell because I hadn’t accepted Jesus as my Lord. Shortly afterwards while watching a Billy Graham Crusade on TV with my Mother I realized I wanted to make a decision that would affect my eternity and I asked Jesus into my heart to be my personal Savior.

I didn’t really grow in my Christian faith until I had to stand on my own faith, which was at nursing school, where I felt like the only Christian there. I wondered why the Lord led me to this different environment, but looking back I believe it was to witness to my best friend, Marilyn. In the three years at school she changed her religious beliefs to match her present boyfriends’ religion from Lutheran, to Catholic, and then Jehovah Witness. We had many talks about the Lord, but I never knew if she made a decision to follow Him. I lost touch with her after school and so was eager to see her at our nurses reunion. When she never showed up I found out she’d been killed earlier in a car accident. I pray that she was ready to meet God.

My faith was really tested requiring me to rely wholly on the Lord when my husband, Maury, was suddenly diagnosed with Burkitt’s Leukemia. He was 41 and died within 6 months. Through the very difficult days we were both given a peace that surpasses any human understanding. I had ten very specific prayer requests for the Lord and He answered each one in detail except for Maury’s healing, which wasn’t His plan for him. One example of His loving care was the night before Maury died. My sisters came to be with me at the hospital, bringing brownies which are always welcome. They had just left when I realized I was going to be totally alone when Maury died and I felt a sense of panic, but in a few moments one of my sisters came back to get the container she’d forgotten and then she stayed with me. I absolutely felt like I was in the arms of Jesus and knew He cared for me deeply and was in control. 

The day after the funeral I felt a huge burden as the reality of the situation hit me. At 35, I alone was responsible for 300 head of dairy and feeder livestock, 1200 acres of land and crops, 4 hired men who depended on me for their livelihood, and was a single parent to Brent, 9, Kristin, 5 12 and 2 year old Kerry who needed me to be there for them. It was a very difficult time, but the Lord provided hired help, parents, friends and neighbors, and our church family to help me. Jesus was and IS my Rock and Strength and I would not have made it without Him. 

Kathy 

We are God’s Children

Since I was old enough to compete in sports and date girls, I was striving for
significance in accomplishments and security in relationships. In high school and
college I had both. 

Significance came from being a good distance runner. My high school was in a small
rural town. Whenever we had success as a team it brought great pride to our town and
personal recognition from the people in that town.

My security came from a relationship with my high school sweetheart. Having someone
know me deeply and express her love and commitment to me gave me a deep sense of
security. 

Both ended in a period of months. An injury the fall of my college sophomore year
prevented me from running cross country competitively. And, during Christmas break,
my sweetheart, whom I had planned on marrying, said she didn’t want to see me
anymore.

Suddenly, the things I trusted in for significance and security were gone. The emotional
pain and the thought that my life would be filled with things like this, led me to want to
end my life. I started to walk out of my room but also mumbled a prayer, “God, if you are
real, I need to know it now!”

Before I got to the door, I noticed a small Bible given to me at college. The first page I
turned to had a list of words with verses next to them. Adultery caught my attention and
the verse said that if I looked at a woman in lust, it would be better to have my eyes
plucked out than to be cast into hell. 

The suicide option immediately left me. I realized that if I died, I was going to hell
because I stood guilty of adultery and hell would be worse than having my eyes gouged
out.

For over three hours, I continued to look through the list of terms and read the
accompanying verses hoping to find a way out of this bleak eternal destiny dilemma.
Then It became apparent to me that the reason Jesus Christ died on the cross was to
forgive all of my sins, including adultery. At that moment, I asked Jesus to forgive me of
anything I had done out of rebellion or passive indifference towards Him.

I began to learn more about how the Bible described my relationship with God. My
desire for significance and security has not changed but the source has. My security
comes from my relationship with God. He knows me better than anyone ever could,
and yet loves me with a love that was demonstrated by Jesus dying on the cross. He
also promises that he will never leave me or forsake me. My significance comes from
God calling me his child!! There is nothing more significant than being known for that!

Since then, trials and successes of life come and go. I have been through many ups
and downs including broken relationships, failures and disappointments in life: lost jobs,
sharing the hurt of miscarriages with my wife, etc. But… 

Before I knew Jesus, I tried to gain security and significance from accomplishments and
relationships. NOW I bring significance and security INTO relationships and efforts to
accomplish things because my life is grounded on a solid foundation. John