I’m okay. Probably better off than most people | know. I was a hard-working person, but unlike
my parents, | worked hard doing things that only benefitted me. | tried doing things with the
least amount of effort and then thought | deserved what | received. | failed many more times
than | succeeded. | didn’t blame God for these failures, but | didn’t blame myself either. It was
always someone else’s fault.
| grew up attending church every Sunday. | sat in the pew and observed those who were
entering. Those who liked me and those who irritated me, thinking they were hypocritical for
coming to church. | thought, “I’m so much better since | pray more than they”, or so | thought.
| didn’t mistreat others like some of them.
When | think back on my failures, they were never the result of my poor planning or my lack of
understanding as | inserted my flawed opinion. They were never the fault of my taking the easy
way out instead of doing the right thing. I thought, “My intentions are good, so | should be
reaping the benefits of my good intentions.” | felt my successes should be attributed to my
own efforts and then the rest to God’s intersession.
It wasn’t until | invited Jesus to be Lord of my life that | found true meaning for my work and my
efforts. | found humility and discovered that | was the hypocrite that needed to be in church.
But, rather than sitting in church in judgment of others, | needed to confess my sins and pray
for forgiveness. | not only needed to pray for myself, but | needed to pray for others whose
suffering | was unaware of, due to my self-absorption. The more time | spent in prayer and His
Word, the more peace | found. | wasn’t worried about what other people thought of me. I
found purpose and success in my work, in my relationships, my worship and in time with my
family.
My prayers were being answered. But more importantly, others who were praying for me were
the reasons for my success. Christ wasn’t through with me there; He now wants my all. He
wants to be Lord of my life, all that | am, all that | do and all that | have. Why? Because all
belongs to Him. My faith tells me to simply trust Him with everything.
| have found true peace and most of all, true love. Love like | never knew existed. I want to
share His love with everyone.
Tim Benoit