I loved the fun and action in our family. It was an adventure keeping up with my 4 wild and crazy brothers. Friends, sports, parties, church, cheer- leading and getting good grades were the outward image of my life.
Inside, I yearned for more. What is the purpose of my life? Why am I here? The more these questions surfaced, the harder I tried to bury them in popularity and relationships. I was voted most active and friendliest girl in my high school, and piled on even more activities–and even dabbled in the occult. None of it came close to filling my growing emptiness.
At one point in my life, I became obsessed with my body image and weight. I was going through a breakup with my boyfriend, and my dad, who I was always trying to please, started making remarks about my weight. I made a terrible choice.
In an attempt to deal with my pain, I began a cycle of bulimia and anorexia. Little did I know the downward spiral of despair I had begun. No amount of asking, pleading, and begging for God’s help, seemed to matter.
Hiding my addiction, I went off to college, hoping to make a new start. I pledged a sorority and I got caught up in parties and alcohol. My eating disorder gained more and more control. I would cry myself to sleep, wearing my mask of outward happiness by day.
One Sunday as I sat in church with a hangover, the Lord gently whispered in my ear: “Nancy, do you know me?” It was a divine moment when I admitted, “No, I know all about you, but I don’t have a relationship with you.” I told God I would not come back to church until he showed me how to KNOW HIM, not just about Him, but HIM.
God used many people in my life, including my so-called “atheist” boyfriend, to answer that prayer. One night at a dorm party, a friend shared with me the 4 spiritual truths in a booklet. I was amazed that God loved me unconditionally, and that I didn’t need to perform for Him!
With tears streaming down my face, I prayed and invited Jesus to come into my life and make me the person He had created me to be. I found the treasure I had been searching for and then the adventure really began. Over time He healed me.